


Prank War

by Gumnut



Series: Warm Rain [4]
Category: Thunderbirds
Genre: Crack, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Prank Wars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 15:20:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16600490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gumnut/pseuds/Gumnut
Summary: It was war.





	1. Prank War I - Rainbows

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Prank War I - Rainbows  
> Warm Rain Series  
> Author: Gumnut  
> 7 - 8 Nov 2018  
> Fandom: Thunderbirds Are Go 2015/ Thunderbirds TOS  
> Rating: Mature  
> Summary: It was war.  
> Word count: 665  
> Spoilers & warnings: Virgil/Kayo, crackfic  
> Timeline: After ‘Home’ and before ‘The Proposal’.  
> Author’s note: I was sick, what can I say?  
> Disclaimer: Mine? You’ve got to be kidding. Money? Don’t have any, don’t bother.

It was embarrassing. 

Then it was just weird. 

Virgil, standing beside the pool, in his swimwear, passed wind. And a cloud of purple…something…appeared around and dissipated into the breeze.

“What the hell?” He stared at the cloud as it drifted away. Unfortunately, another bubble burst forth before he could restrain himself. Pink mist was the result.

“Holy-“ 

But his worry was interrupted by a burst of laughter. Gordon, on the other side of the pool, was laughing so hard, he was stumbling. 

Virgil’s shoulders tightened into knots. “What the hell have you done?!” Unfortunately, the tension caused more expulsion of gas, this time green.

That just set off Gordon more. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to end up falling in the pool. Virgil had no idea what his brother had done, but the red mist that appeared next was highly appropriate as he launched into a run.

-o-o-o-

Scott walked out from the kitchen, coffee in hand to encounter one brother literally roaring at the other as he tore around the pool, chasing a Gordon who was hardly keeping it together he was laughing so hard. But the most confounding element was the rainbow-coloured clouds emitting in a trail from…oh my god…”Virgil! What the hell?”

His brother skidded to a halt, just as Gordon finally completely lost the plot and fell into the pool. 

The cloud of colours floated around Virgil like a rainbow halo.

The usually calm engineer’s expression was a mixture of anger, worry and possibly murder. 

Scott put his coffee down on a lounger and approached his brother slowly. “Virg, you okay?” A cloud of glitter appeared and floated lazily in the air. Scott vaguely registered the possibility that Gordon was drowning himself laughing.

“What did you do, Gordon?” Virgil’s voice cut through the concrete around the pool, slicing it up in its fury. Another red haze appeared. Gordon’s response actually contained water, and Scott was seriously considering the need to save the man from himself.

The next puff of gas smelled like lavender and came in the same colour.

“GORDON!” Scott’s voice carried just a little bit more command than Virgil’s and the spluttering laughter stopped. 

“Don’t worry, bro, I just rigged his swim shorts. He’s so sweet, he farts rainbows.” And the laughter returned.

Another cloud of pink mist, this time with glitter included, and Scott swore his brother was going to combust on the spot. 

Of course, this was the very moment Kayo walked out onto the patio. One glance at Virgil another at Gordon and she threw off her wrap and jumped into the pool. Point five of a second later, Scott seriously thought he would now need to save his younger brother from his sister.

“What did you do?” And yes, she had him in a very uncomfortable position.

“Uh, Kayo, he’s breakable.” Scott took a step in the direction of the pool.

“I am very well aware of that, Scott, as I believe he is, too.” Gordon whimpered, obviously terrified. 

Virgil crossed his arms and smirked, only to pass some multicoloured concoction that smelt like Grandma’s perfume. 

Gordon snorted, only to whimper again as Kayo’s hold tightened.

Something in Virgil must have cracked at that point, because suddenly he threw caution to the wind, yanked off his swimwear, throwing it to the concrete and stalked off inside, completely naked.

There was a scream from Alan inside, “Oh god, my eyes!”

Virgil’s shorts continued to emit erratic clouds of coloured whatever as Kayo let her brother go by dunking him repeatedly. “You are so dead, Fish Boy. Virgil is going to kill you.”

Gordon surfaced with a smirk. “So worth it.”

Kayo arched an eyebrow at him. “And when he is finished with you, you can expect a visit from me.” The sudden fear in his eyes made her smile.

Scott returned to his coffee and took a swig. Perhaps it was time he took a holiday.

On the other side of the planet.

-o-o-o-


	2. Prank War II - Jello

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Prank War II - Jello  
> Warm Rain Series  
> Author: Gumnut  
> 7 - 8 Nov 2018  
> Fandom: Thunderbirds Are Go 2015/ Thunderbirds TOS  
> Rating: Teen  
> Summary: It was war.  
> Word count: 567  
> Spoilers & warnings: Virgil/Kayo, crackfic  
> Timeline: After ‘Home’ and before ‘The Proposal’.  
> Author’s note: Yeah, I was still sick. Still Vegetacide's fault.  
> Disclaimer: Mine? You’ve got to be kidding. Money? Don’t have any, don’t bother.

It had been a hard couple of weeks and Gordon was just happy to be home. He’d finally flown in late last night and crashed into bed. He had spent most of the last week several thousand feet underwater discussing seaweed farming and underwater food propagation with a very lovely marine biologist. Eventually they had discussed other forms of biology as well and it had turned out to be a lovely time away.

However, it had been mostly work, no matter how interesting or diverting and he was happy to be home. Also, it had been halfway around the world so his body clock was blown. So, he was up before the sun the next morning and heading down to the pool for his morning laps.

The whole house was quiet, the only sound the breeze off the ocean blowing through palm trees. He stood on the dark patio and took a deep breath. Yes, no place really beat being home.

Besides, despite never admitting it, he did miss his family from time to time. There had been at least three rescues while he was gone and there was nail biting involved. Apparently, Scott had obtained a new scar for his collection and Virgil had yet another near miss with a building. He had heard Tin’s opinion on that from the other side of the planet with or without the use of Thunderbird Five. It had Gordon wondering if Virgil knew what hell he had gotten himself into by falling in love with their sister.

But anyway, the pool. His beloved pool.

He tossed his towel on a lounger and took a step into the shadowy blue water.

And tripped and fell on his face. “What the hell?”

His whole world was wobbling and he wasn’t wet.

Oh my god.

-o-o-o-

Scott got back from his run, jumped in the shower, and then grabbed himself some coffee before walking out onto the balcony to watch the sun climb into the sky.

Alan jumped up in front of him, let out a godawful whoop and disappeared below the edge of the balcony.

What the-?

Gordon yelled and somersaulted up and over mid-air before he too, disappeared from whence he came…somewhere below the balcony.

Scott’s eyes widened as he dashed to the edge, only to find his two youngest brothers bouncing on the surface of the pool water like a trampoline.

“What the hell are you doing?!”

“This is so much fun!” And Alan flew past him again. This time Scott’s eyes tracked him all the way down until he bounced on the pool water again.

“What the hell happened to the pool?!”

“Alginate.” He darted a look behind him to find a bleary-eyed Virgil hugging a coffee. “Lots and lots of alginate. It’s amazing what it is capable when mixed with a little water and revenge.” His brother buried his face in his coffee, his eyes closing, revelling the experience of the steaming hot beverage.

“Doesn’t look much like revenge to me. Gordon’s having a ball.” And to emphasize that point his brother bounced past whooping again.

“Wait until he has to shovel it out.” Virgil smirked through coffee steam, before turning back inside to, no doubt, hunt for more coffee.

Scott turned back to the bouncing pool. Yes, today would be a good day to visit the mainland.

The one on the other side of the Pacific.


	3. Prank War III - The Unicorn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Prank War III - The Unicorn  
> Warm Rain Series  
> Author: Gumnut  
> 7 - 8 Nov 2018  
> Fandom: Thunderbirds Are Go 2015/ Thunderbirds TOS  
> Rating: Teen  
> Summary: It was war.  
> Word count: 650  
> Spoilers & warnings: Virgil/Kayo, crackfic  
> Timeline: After ‘Home’ and before ‘The Proposal’.  
> Author’s note: Still sick. Still Vegetacide's fault.  
> Disclaimer: Mine? You’ve got to be kidding. Money? Don’t have any, don’t bother.

There was a unicorn in her living room.

Kayo stood in the doorway and stared. It had been a long day and she was tired. To come home and find a white pony with a horn strapped to its head wandering around in her quarters was disturbing to say the least.

Not to mention the red rose petals scattered all over the floor, the lounge, the bookcase…

“Virgil?”

She knew his day had been busy as well and it was rather late. She had expected to find him asleep. Thunderbird Two had been across the Pacific today, helping with a forest fire in California. While fires were one of Virgil’s specialities, they always took a lot out of him and he was usually exhausted.

There was a thump of something hitting the floor in the bedroom.

Kayo dropped her bag and hurried across the room only to encounter Virgil as he emerged from the darkness rubbing his face. “Kay?”

She couldn’t help it. She stared.

Virgil’s hair was white.

And sparkly.

She blinked.

And he was wearing makeup. Lots of it. Not particularly well done and some of it smudged by his hands.

“Virgil?”

“Wha-?”

Her love was always dopey upon awakening. The man slept like the dead and had just as much trouble reanimating as the dead in the morning. It wasn’t morning, and frankly she was surprised he had awoken at her call…but then, thinking back, he always woke when she called.

“Gagh!” He was staring at his hand, which he had raised to touch her face.

His fingernails sparkled in the living room lights due to several different colours of iridescent nail polish, one for each finger.

And then he was looking down at himself. He wore only his pyjama pants, his chest bare except for apparently randomly placed sequins.

Sequins.

“What the hell?!”

The unicorn startled at his yell and whinnied loudly.

Virgil’s eyes nearly fell out of his head.

“GORDON!!!”

It was a roar, a tsunami of sound. And he was moving.

Kayo put a hand to her mouth as he pushed past, his tail glittering as much as his toenails.

-o-o-o-

Scott was tired. His arm throbbed where he had whacked it earlier in the day and he was anticipating a lovely bruise to match when he finally got to the showers.

He didn’t expect to be bowled over in the corridor by a raging Mardi Gras reject.

Virgil, at least he thought it was Virgil by the size of him, barrelled down the corridor streaking glitter, white dust and rose petals.

Scott sneezed as he passed. “Virg, what the hell?”

His brother paused only for a moment, his heavily whited out face, hair and accented eyes fairly vibrating with ire. “I’m going to kill him.”

Scott bit his lip, swallowed and did his best not to burst out laughing. “Virg, you have a tail.”

Virgil blinked, glanced down, and a cloud of white powder defied gravity above his hair as fury vibrated up his body. “Where is he?!”

Scott shrugged. “If I were him, I’d be on another planet.” Actually that sounded quite attractive. He idly wondered if Uncle Lee on Mars would mind a visit.

He was knocked out of his thoughts as a small white unicorn attempted to spear him from behind with its horn.

Fortunately the horn was fake and simply twisted off centre as the pony shoved him out of the way and trotted off into the darkness.

Blink.

Scott just stared.

Virgil snarled. Yes, that was definitely a snarl. And stormed off down the corridor.

Scott’s eyes bugged out at the pair of tiny white wings glued to his brother’s back.

And sequins.

So many sequins.

“Gordon is very dead.”

Scott blinked and found Kayo standing quietly beside him. He had to snort. “Oh, I don’t think he is going to get off that easy.”

“Good point.”

-o-o-o-

 


	4. Prank War IV - You can't stop the music!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Prank War IV  
> Warm Rain Series  
> Author: Gumnut  
> 7 - 8 Nov 2018  
> Fandom: Thunderbirds Are Go 2015/ Thunderbirds TOS  
> Rating: Teen  
> Summary: It was war.  
> Word count: 3215   
> Spoilers & warnings: Virgil/Kayo, crackfic  
> Timeline: After ‘Home’ and before ‘The Proposal’.  
> Author’s note: And here is the last of the crazy :D I hope you enjoy it :D I’m feeling much better now :D  
> Disclaimer: Mine? You’ve got to be kidding. Money? Don’t have any, don’t bother.

It started with his alarm.

Usually Gordon was woken in the morning to the slowly increasing sounds of the ocean, a little whale song and a few waves crashing on the shore. It was a nice comforting way to slowly ease out of sleep. It gave him energy. It got him slowly geared up and into his morning routine.

AC/DC suddenly screaming out ‘Big Gun’ at the full volume his alarm was capable of didn’t quite have the same effect.

Gordon shot up and fell out of bed.

The floor was hard first thing in the morning.

As the song played out, he rolled over on the floor groaning. Okay, okay, I’m up. He aimed to turn it off. Somehow the alarm ended up in pieces on the floor.

Great.

He sat there for a moment and let his heart rate slow and his circulation catch up. There were only two possible reasons his alarm had done that...Virgil’s revenge...or, well, yeah, Virgil.

Gordon took a deep breath and stood up. He had no doubt there would be more. An altered alarm clock just did not add up to alginate in the pool.

He had to admit it. That had been some damn good revenge. It had taken days. Days. To get the stuff out of the pool. And for a good part of it, Virgil had sat on the balcony with a smirk on his face just watching Gordon dig it all out.

Alan had helped. Gordon loved his little brother.

Virgil, however.

He twisted his lips. Virgil was a challenge. Of course, the man was a loveable bear, and he couldn’t resist poking the bear.

It had just escalated recently.

Gordon reached for his swimwear and frowned.

What was that sound?

He made the movement again.

The sound happened again.

He grabbed his swimwear and began to change.

The sound became instrumental. Orchestral. Tuba? Trombone?

The theme from Jaws.

Each time Gordon moved, a strain from the theme echoed throughout his quarters. The faster he moved, the faster the music. The slower he moved, the more paced and threatening the music.

He looked about the room, but couldn’t see anything obvious that could be following his movements.

Experimentally, he walked into the bathroom.

“I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts...”

He yelped. It was at full volume and threw him back into his bedroom.

Jaws resumed.

Okay, Virgil, you smart ass, I’ll give you this, it’s creative.

Jaws followed him into his living room and out into the corridor with his towel.

When he hit the kitchen, the soundtrack switched to the Beatles and “Love Me Do.” Which wasn’t too bad, he didn’t mind the occasional Beatles track.

Moving out onto the patio, however, proved to be bit more of a challenge.

Italian Opera was never really considered motivational for swimming or any other kind of exercise. Between the smell of the slowly decaying alginate to the west of the pool and the accompanying music, Gordon’s exercise routine was cut short.

Returning to his room brought back Jaws, however his bathroom chose to sing ‘Agadoo’ during his shower.

On loop.

By the time he was fully dressed, he had just about reached his limit.

He activated his comms. “Virgil?”

“The Thunderbird you are trying to contact is currently unavailable. Please leave a message after the...” And his comms let off an awful screech.

Okay, so he jumped. He’d admit it. He was used to relying on the infallibility of IR equipment. But then if comms was involved with this, then that meant...

John.

He tapped his comms again.

“John?”

“You rang?”

Blink. “What are you doing?”

“Eating breakfast.” As if to prove it, there were some sloppy chewing sounds on the line.

“Are you siding with Virgil?”

“What do you mean?”

“In the prank war.”

“Is there a prank war? Sounds highly unprofessional.”

Gordon grit his teeth. “Which is why I’m finding it hard to believe that you are involved.”

“And what could you possibly think I have done?”

“There is music wherever I go.”

“Nope. That was totally Virg.” There were more chewing sounds. And a belch.

“Ugh, gross.”

“Better out than in.” Another burp. “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“What? Are you on something?”

“Thunderbird Five, but I thought you knew that.” And then the line cut off

“John? John!”

“The Thunderbird you are trying to contact is currently unavailable. Too bad, so sad, go eat a lemon.”

Okay, that left him trying to stare at his collar.

John was definitely in Virgil’s pocket.

Jaws once again followed him down the corridor, but upon entering the kitchen it switched to piano music.

Virgil’s piano music.

Kayo was sitting at the breakfast bar with a bowl of fruit salad. “Good morning, Gordon.”

“Hey, Tin.”

He chose to ignore the music, perhaps if he paid it no attention it would simply go away.

“This is truly a lovely piece of music. Virgil is quite talented.”

Gordon grit his teeth. “Yes. Yes, he is.” He dug the butter out of the refrigerator before diving into the bread bin.

“This piece is special.” An involuntary glance at his sister found her gazing somewhat dreamily at the ceiling, her fork waving a chunk of pineapple on its tines.” I was there for both the inspiration and the writing of this piece. It is written so well, I can hear the waves on the beach, feel the sand between my toes, his hands on my skin...”

Gordon dropped his butter knife and it clattered across the floor.

“Virgil is very good with his hands.” Tin’s smile was lascivious. “Of course, he does quite well with the rest of his body as well.”

Gordon stared at her.

“He has a very nice tongue.”

Gordon fled.

But it got worse.

The moment he hit the comms room, the music switched to the godawful ‘It’s a small world after all’.

If there was a song out there that promoted ripping ears out that was it.

“Ooh, I like this one.” And to Gordon’s horror, Alan, who had been sitting on the couch playing his computer game, started singing along.

“What? How? Whose side are you on?!”

“Huh? It’s a cool song.”

“It’s a horrible song. How can you possibly-?” This had to stop. “Where is Scott?”

“In Bermuda.”

Gordon blinked. “What?”

“He’s taken a weekend and gone to Bermuda. Apparently, he has wanted to go for a while.”

“How could he do that?”

Alan frowned. “He deserves a break, Gordon.” He turned back to his game. “Big Bro hardly ever gets to relax around here.”

“But what about International Rescue?”

“Eh, we’ll survive. Virgil and the rest of us are here.”

Virgil.

“Yes, and where exactly is Virgil?”

“Dunno. Probably still in bed. You know him, midnight to midday if he could.” And his brother started humming along to the damn song again.

Aaargh.

Okay, okay, take a deep breath. Get out of the house. “I’m going for a walk.”

“Cool.” Alan went back to his game, still humming that damn song.

-o-o-o-

Gordon set off along the cliff tops to the eastern side of the island, his shoulders still tense, muttering under his breath. For the first few steps he revelled in the sudden quiet, but just as he turned the corner, finally out of sight of the villa, a train whistle echoed amongst the rocks.

And a kids choir started singing.

_We'll sing a song for Gordon_

_He's big, he's fast, he's proud_

_His paint is blue, so strong and true_

_And his whistle's really loud_

_The fastest train on Sodor_

_You can't forget his name,_

_So when we've sung for Gordon, well_

_Let's sing it once again._

His jaw dropped. Oh god, no, not Thomas the frickin’ Tank Engine!

And the song looped.

Awwwgh. He had fists full of hair.

Young Alan had absolutely adored that damn program as a toddler, and when he discovered one of the engines had the same name as his big brother...

Oh, the ear worms.

Gordon rubbed his face in his hands.

But he kept walking. Maybe he could out pace it.

Halfway around the island, it faded out and Gordon sighed.

Then Virgil’s voice echoed amongst the rocks.

_We’ll sing a song for Gordon_

_And torture his little ass_

_He comes in yellow, not so mellow_

_But in this war he’s last._

_He is the biggest fish on Tracy_

_And you can’t forget his name_

_Because he simply will not let you_

_And he thinks it’s all a game._

_But when you sing a song for Gordon_

_You have to know it’s true_

_He’s forgotten who he’s playing with_

_And big brother is two for two._

_If he knows what is good for him_

_He will throw in the towel_

_And wave the flag of truce tonight_

_Before it gets really loud._

 

Gordon had just a moment to consider that, yes, his brother could sing really well, before that too went on loop, bellowing out from a series of loudspeakers amongst the rocks.

It followed him the rest of the circumference of Tracy Island.

It wasn’t even ten am when he got back to the villa (the pool had switched to the Beatles ‘I wanna hold your hand’ as he walked through it) and already he felt he was going to lose it.

Jaws chased him up the staircases, but when he entered his rooms, Dory started encouraging him to ‘just keep swimming’.

Over and over again.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, nooooooooo......

In desperation, he jabbed his comms. “Scott?”

“The Thunderbird you are trying to contact is currently unavailable. You’ve driven him insane and he has fled to the Bermuda Triangle.” Twilight Zone music danced with Dory.

“John?”

“Yo?”

“What can I offer you to make this stop?”

“Make what stop?”

“The music!”

“Oh, you can’t stop the music...” And John was singing another ear worm and his singing skill definitely wasn’t up there with Virgil’s. “Nobody can stop the music!”

“Oh, for the love of god!”

“Is something wrong, Gordon?”

“I’m going to kill him.”

“Oh, I don’t think so.”

“I am. He’s had it. This is beyond the rule book.”

“Nope. Sorry. Not going to happen.”

“Watch me.”

“Okay then. You might want to check out your balcony.”

“My balcony?”

“Oh, yeah, baby.”

Gordon was attempting to stare at his collar again.

“Go on, I haven’t got all day. Important rescue calls to be sorted.”

Against his better judgement, Gordon stepped through the double doors and out onto his balcony.

“The hills are alive with the sound of music!”

Julie Andrews. Echoing across the Tracy Island volcano.

“Take a look downstairs.” John was smug, there was no other word for it.

On the side lawn, Grandma was twirling.

Twirling to Julie Andrews.

Gordon fled to Dory.

“Why, John?”

“Why what?”

“Why did you side with Virgil? You’re the middle kid, the casting vote. What did I ever do to you?”

“I have a list, Gordon.”

“Really?”

“A long list.”

“Okay, but c’mon, I’m the prankster in this family. It is to be expected. Before the pool, I don’t think he ever even thought of pranking anyone.”

“Point One to the Virg.”

“Are you sure you’re not smoking something up there?”

“Thunderbird Five is a non-smoking habitat. Unless it is on fire.”

Blink. “Okay. You sure it is not on fire?”

“You may be the prankster Gordon, but you forgot one very important fact.”

“What?”

“Virgil is an engineer. A fully qualified and creative engineer. And you pissed him off.”

Another blink. “Okay, you may have a point.”

“Oh, and although traditionally Virgil is the kind of guy who wouldn’t hurt a fly, he has a girlfriend who would be quite capable of stringing you up by your eyelids.”

Now that was an image that hurt.

“So, you see, little brother, logic dictates that if I want to keep my eyelids intact and my Thunderbird in one piece, I’m sticking with the pissed off engineer.” A pause. “You are, of course, welcome to join us on the not so dark side. All it takes is the waving of that little white towel or flag. Do you have a white pair of underwear? I’m sure Virgil will accept those if they are clean.”

“Where is he?” It was low, it was dark.

“Oh, where you won’t think to look.”

“John, you suck.”

“Such rumours, young padawan.”

Yet another blink and he shivered, cutting off the connection.

So, Virgil was a smart ass engineer, huh?

There is more than one engineer on this island, and the other one has a smarter ass!

Gordon grimaced at that thought. It didn’t quite come out the way he had intended.

The music followed him down to Brains’ labs, alternating between two of the most annoying advertising jingles ever composed.

The door to the labs was shut. It was locked. It had a great big sign on it.

‘For the duration of the current argument, these labs are a Tracy-free zone. Keep Out.’

Gordon muttered under his breath and reached for the button to activate the door anyway.

A whirring of wheels and suddenly MAX was in his face.

Glaring at him.

Gordon flung his hands up in defence. “Okay, okay. I get the message.” Another threatening whir. “I’m going. I’m going.”

As he turned around, Elvis started crooning Jailhouse Rock.

Okay, so that one wasn’t so bad.

He stomped off to plan B.

The hangers and Thunderbird Four.

He never knew that the cavernous Thunderbird Two hanger was so acoustic. But then it may have sounded better if it wasn’t screaming ABBA’s Dancing Queen off all the technology housed inside it.

He hated ABBA with a passion. It may have had something to do with John liking it, a lot, all through yet another revival during his teenage years. God forbid if it switched to Mamma Mia.

Which, of course, it did.

Virgil obviously knew him very well.

He clambered into Module Four, sighing in relief as it closed and dampened the echoed out in the hangar. He then threw himself into TB4, sealing her hatch behind him. Ah, blessed silence.

He closed his eyes and simply breathed out.

“Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger...”

It was so quiet, he didn’t hear it at first, but it slowly increased in volume until it was just distinct enough that he couldn’t ignore it any longer.

“Mushroom, mushroom!”

“Badger, badger, badger...”

What’s with the badgers?

“IT’S A SNAKE! IT’S A SNAAAAKE!”

Gordon yelped and almost fell out of his chair. Oh god.

And it was badgering again.

It only took three more screamed snakes to have him stumbling out of his little sub.

Okay, Virgil, I admit it. You’re good.

-o-o-o-

He went boating and snorkeling that afternoon.

And discovered that not only had Virgil rigged the boat, but he had also added music to the fishing equipment and his snorkel and mask. How the hell he had managed that, Gordon had spent an hour going over said mask and snorkel failing to work out how.

There may have been tears of frustration at one point.

He spent the entirety of his boat trip home ‘Row, row, rowing his boat gently down the stream’, but it wasn’t the crocodile that made him want to scream.

By six o’clock he was ready to give in. He had a headache, his ear worms were breeding in his brain and, for the love of god, could he please have some peace and quiet?

John was useless.

Scott had migrated to another country.

Alan...Alan had disappeared. He would be slightly worried, but this was Virgil, he had a moral code, and Alan was easily distracted. Gordon himself had used candy in the past.

Kayo...well, her allegiance was obvious. And her commentary on Virgil’s music...he so wasn’t going there again.

Brains was Switzerland. If Switzerland had robotic defences and didn’t let anyone in.

Grandma was still excited about the volcano spouting Julie Andrews. Who knew she would be such a fan. The movie had been made over fifty years before she had been born.

That left Virgil the evil demonic overload of all this musical hell.

And Shirley.

Gordon had managed to find one small niche of the island that was music free. The small grassed area where they had constructed a little pen for Shirley the pony. Obviously Virgil was above torturing wannabe unicorns. He sat with Shirley for two hours while the miniature horse chewed on his shirt.

Despite this, the music continued in his head. Particularly that Thomas the Tank Engine torture device, except now the original lyrics kept warping into his brother’s voice.

Surrender was apparently the only option.

So, it was with red faced annoyance, temper and humiliation that he climbed the stairs to the residential areas and knocked on Virgil’s door.

As John had said. It was the last place he had looked.

Perhaps because that was where he knew he would find him.

“Come in.”

The room was dark when he entered, lit only by the lights in the corridor and some faint light from the long set sun. The music of choice in the corridor had returned to its preferred Jaws theme.

“Close the door behind you.”

He did as he was told. And discovered the second music free spot on the island. Oh god, blessed silence.

“Hello, Gordon.”

His brother appeared out of the shadows by the window, his outline only lit by that pink sunset remnant. It made him look large and mysterious. Far from the gentle artistic demonic overlord he knew him to be.

“Please make it stop.”

“It already has.”

“What?”

You only had to come to see me to get it to stop. I’m surprised you lasted this long.” He sighed. “In fact, it worries me. Does this prank war mean that much to you?”

Gordon blinked. “What?”

“I thought we were closer as brothers than a petty prank fest. That you would rather suffer than simply come and ask me to stop...Gords, really?”

“It’s war.”

“You started it.”

“Yeah, that was hilarious.” A grin.

He didn’t need to see his brother’s eyes to know he had rolled them. “For some.” A sigh. “Well, the fun is now over.”

“Why? I owe you big time, bro.”

He saw his brother move and suddenly the room was filled with ‘It’s a small world after all.” Gordon flinched. “Okay, okay, I get the message.” The music stopped.

“Anytime, Gordon, anytime, and it can all start again. I have ABBA’s complete collection at my disposal.”

Disposal was the right word. He was going to kill John.

“And it’s not John’s.”

Wha-?

“It’s Kay’s.”

Shit.

“Virgil, love, come back to bed.”

Speak of the devil, and Tin walked into the room, turning on the light.

Gordon blinked. Virgil was shirtless. Kayo was in a short, very short, negligee, a silky green one.

“Gordon, you’re staring.” Tin smiled that same smile she had weaponised at breakfast, leant over and licked Virgil’s ear.

Gordon shuddered.

“I-I’ll be going.”

Tin smiled again. “You do that.”

“Virg?”

“Yes, Gordon.” He was kissing Tin’s nose.

“You win.”

“I know.”

Gordon fled.

-o-o-o-

FIN.

 

 

 


End file.
